Saturday, December 31, 2005


Jesus tomb patent

U.S. 4,866,863. Man receives patent for a religious shrine, in particular a miniature replica of the Garden Tomb in Jerusalem as described in the New Testament of the bible. In a modification, the top cover of the shrine can be raised by a mechanism activated by rolling the round stone at the entrance into an open position.

I would have designed the device differently:

A cosmic process
would be dimly discerned
by a Buddhist-influenced Essene
commune leader, who would
seek recruits in Roman Gallilee
so that the commune not die out.
Those influenced by his speaking
would create a new cult, picked up
by Greeklings, fulfilling the
Essene leader's intent
that the imminence a major future change
for sentient beings that had already
been entrained in a cosmic process
would be consciously preserved,
until such time as fuller comprehension
might arise, from scientific method.

The end product trans-temporal
hyperconsciousness spoken of
by the Essene leader would
reach across time, and join
his thought-kernel with those
of other Avatars, thus appearing
to raise the lid of all tombs,
and retrace the trajectories
of all dissociated
once-sentient agglomerations
(credential the ashes), as all physics
freezes into a universal residue--
simultaneously a cosmic record of the past,
a Tao of the future,
and a detailed datasheet of each of
10^10,000,000 individual wave interactions
in this individual iteration of a cyclic
pumping megaverse, instantaneously known,
just before the next "forgetting"--
the next big bang.

That's how my design would work.

All the tomb lids could therefore
smartly snap open together.

Cool, huh?

Harry, the Riverdog
If I were God, which I may be so don't piss me off, I would have focused my laser cosmic brain that is as big as the universe on the tomb, moved it into another dimension, and left a sign sticking up out of the ground that said, "vacancy"
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